By Seleoe Nonyane
A 29-year old woman found herself lying on a hospital bed after a suicide attempt due to constant abuse by her husband of two years.
The woman, whose name is withheld to protect her identity, was found in her rented house at Ha Mabote in Maseru last week. She was taken to the nearest hospital where it was discovered she had poisoned herself in a desperate attempt to end her life.
When narrating her story, the woman, who talked on condition of anonymity, said she has been living with her husband for two years and his abusive nature resurfaced just a few months in their marriage.
She said it first began as emotional abuse and later escalated into physical abuse where she sustained injuries from beatings by her spouse. Scars are visible on her body.
At first, she told the publication, the abuse occurred rarely but in recent months it has become her almost daily bread.
The unemployed woman thought she is subjected to the ordeal as her husband is the one who fends for the family and regards her as inferior.
“I am constantly reminded that I have no say in our family matters because he is the provider and so whatever he says goes. Every time I try to voice my views I am considered disrespectful and as a result, physically assaulted.
“The abuse has now increased to a point where he shamelessly does it not only in our household but also in public spaces,” she said.
Quizzed on any measures she took to bring an end to the actions, she said her parents and those of her husband tried on several occasions to intervene but nothing has yielded any change in behavior.
On certain occasions, she fled her home but would go back despite being advised by the relatives to call it quit from the marriage.
Since she was tormented she has not resorted to any legal action against the man.
“I have thought of reporting him to the police on many occasions but, I have never really done so. I am afraid I will be judged and ridiculed by the police because of stories that I have heard and I am also afraid that he might face the might of the law and be jailed.
“It scares me because I am unemployed so if he serves time in jail I am afraid that I will not be able to provide for my family,” she thought.
She said she had decided to take her own life because she regarded it was the only alternative to escape her situation.
Commenting on the matter, a civil society organisation, Women and Law in Southern Africa’s (WLSA) national director, Libakiso Matlho. said cases of this nature are familiar with her office and the non-profit entity is prepared to assist when approached by the victims.
For her, it is unfortunate that the matter has not been reported to the law enforcement agencies for action to be taken against her husband. She soberly regretted that the situation has gone so far that she nearly committed suicide.
Matlho clearly advised that the first step is for the woman to report the matter to the police for an action to be taken against her husband.
She warned that there are laws that are against abuse and violation of human rights. She said such laws can only be applied when cases are opened with the police for action.
She realized it seemed the woman has come to terms with her situation.
“Sometimes cases are often not reported because those abused are reluctant to share their personal issues with strangers. That woman can only be able to do so if she accepts her situation and consider it as an abuse.
“She needs to be made aware of the importance of reporting her situation to the police and the effects of not doing so have on her life.
“The fact that it has come to this point of wanting to take her life is just a proof of how intense this situation has negatively affected her life,” Matlho said.
She said she needed to be alerted about failure to report the matter to the police and the subsequent effects on her life.
Matlho has also suggested that the woman should undergo an intense therapy.
She stated that WILSA can only intervene when the victim consents that she needs help and she will be referred to professionals who will counsel her.
She said her consent is the first step and right now it is the responsibility of people closer to her to “convince her that she needed to get out of the marriage.”
“Being afraid that she will not survive without her husband in her life is not an excuse for her to keep living in this abusive life.
“She needs to know that before meeting her husband she had a life and that she can still make it without him. This has a bad impact on her life because she may lose her life, live with scars, live with disability and also have mental issues which in her case could be what is going on right now,” she said.
This just happened after an end to the 16 Days of Activism against gender based violence.
WLSA is a registered non-governmental organization (NGO) under Societies Act. Its mission is to contribute to the socio-economic political and legal advancement of women and children specifically in WLSA countries.
The objectives of WLSA Lesotho, is to improve the legal status of women in Lesotho.
According to a Afro-barometer recent report, gender-based violence tops the list of women’s-rights issues to be addressed.
The report states that gender-based violence is a reality for many women in Lesotho.
The Police Child and Gender Protection Unit reports that from January through July 2022, there have been 184 sexual offences and 45 assault cases perpetrated against women. In 2021, at least 47% of women murdered in Lesotho were killed by their intimate partners.
The report reveals that the gender-based violence indicators study by Gender Links (2015) reported that 86 percent of women and 40 percent of men in Lesotho experienced some form of violence in their lifetime, and that a majority of victims do not report the violence to the police or seek medical attention or legal recourse.
It suggests that among barriers to reporting, the study identified survivor stigmatization by the community, feelings of shame, inadequate police response to victims, and the belief that domestic violence is a private matter not to be discussed with strangers.
