By Kabelo Mollo
Two weeks ago, on a quiet Monday my world’s axis was rocked, for good. My wife’s waters broke, and we were in labour. I was about to be a first time dad at the tender age of 36. I calmly gathered all our bags and loaded them in to the car. I was so calm in fact I was able to feed the dog, and double check that my cousin and dog sitter would be cool to start his duties a day earlier than expected.
My wife was a little panicked but calmed down as we went through the motions we had spoken about time and time again prior to the actual moment. We crossed the border at around seven pm, it’d be remiss of me not to mention how wonderful everybody was. Wishing us all the best, and one customs official even insisting the baby be named after him. Unfortunately, I don’t even remember his name, so that didn’t happen. But maybe next time…
My wife and I had a non eventful trip to Bloemfontein with me mostly listening to playlists I enjoyed and checking on her comfort every ten or so minutes. It was amazing how calm we both were, though I suspect we were also both lost in our thoughts. I was thinking mainly about what fatherhood would be like. I already knew we were having a boy as the scans had shown us, but would he be healthy? Would labour be as long as we’d heard from other people? Would the nurses take good care of us? So much quiet anxiety, and unease at not knowing…
I also had a troubling thought. I postulated on why it was necessary for us to cross the border for the birthing process. Aware that there are good doctors in the country including our GP who was brilliant, and I’m not just saying that because he’s my cousin. But we really felt the best option for delivery was at a private institution in the Republic.
We couldn’t trust the healthcare system in the country to deliver optimally so we removed that option from the table completely. Within twenty minutes of settling in to our room at the MediClinic I knew we’d made the right decision, and I knew we’d be well taken care. I was correct! The staff were brilliant.
In 1998 my parents were involved in a near fatal car accident driving between Hlotse and Maseru. On a rainy evening with the road in TY not in the best nick, my parents’ car aqua-plained and rolled several times before landing on its wheels giving them a fighting chance for survival. After a night in a local state hospital in Maseru, my parents were airlifted to Hydromed hospital were both their lives were ultimately saved. They had the best care in the world, and continue to speak highly of the doctors and nurses there. So it felt like a full circle moment when I got back there to produce offspring who incidentally is named after my dad. It was almost like closing the circle if you will.
I was in the room when the baby was born, and I might have shed a tear or two had I not been so overwhelmed by all that was happening. My wife, the over achiever that she is had been an absolute trooper in successfully delivering my boy, and our doctor and the two nurses who assisted us were absolutely phenomenal in making sure we were comfortable and the baby was healthy. The aftercare at the hospital was a pleasure. An absolute delight, with the nurses trying their absolute best to make sure both mother and baby were well.
I have a newfound respect for the breast, and thanks to the wonderful nurses and assistants at the hospital my wife was able to partake in that wonderfully bonding experience of breastfeeding. I was in awe of her as she metamorphosised into the most maternal creature. Undoubtedly the most beautiful thing I have ever watched.
I keep being posed with the question “how does it feel to be a dad”, and for someone who works with words and considers himself quite articulate, I struggle with a response for this. I think I have settled on “fulfilling” as an answer but I’m still not sure if it captures the entire essence of this emotion I’m feeling. It is definitely the best thing I’ve ever done, and with any luck I’ll have relative success at it. Lord knows I have been broody for long enough, so finally my time has come!
Kenneth “Babyface” Edmund has a song called “The day” which he dedicated to his then wife Tracy Edmund after they had their first child together. Also a baby boy. He sings as beautifully and eruditely as you’d expect BabyFace to on such an occasion, and I would like very much to borrow his melody and lyrics in closing this column this week. Before that I want to wish long life to my son, I want to wish all the other new dads the best of luck, and I want to wish my parents well as they become grandparents once again, though finally it’s a boy after the three amazing girls! So, then to my wife. I say this to you “it was like falling deep in love, Like seeing the angels up above, the day you gave me a son”…
